The Wisdom of Vulnerability - Blog#23 - 23 August 2019

It is natural to try to eliminate emotional pain from the mind in order to feel happy and pain free. None of us enjoy feeling sad, guilty, ashamed, anxious, fearful, etc. Who wants to feel vulnerable? If the mind were simply a bottomless pit, we could discard negative feelings like garbage, dropping them far enough below consciousness that their stinking fumes never touched us again. Unfortunately, the mind is not a bottomless pit, feelings do not disappear forever, and the problems that generate such feelings are not resolved by suppressing them from consciousness. More permanent pain relief requires an understanding of the problem that creates the pain, and a strategy for resolving that problem, both of which require us to approach, experience and explore our painful feelings. Temporary pain must often be tolerated in order to reduce and prevent more lasting pain. Likewise, there is wisdom to be found in vulnerability within relationships as well. One cannot be emotionally intimate without being vulnerable. Allowing oneself to love requires allowing oneself to risk being hurt. We all want safe love, but we must risk safety in order to obtain love, or risk lack of love and loneliness if we demand too much safety. How do we find the balance?

Psychology, Self-Help, Vulnerability, Love, Avoidance, Managing FeelingsEd ChandlerAugust 22, 2019Comment

Is Me cRaZie!? - Blog#22 - 9 August 2019

No one wants to be “crazy,” and most of us would prefer to be considered normal. On the other hand, most people want to be “unique,” not a cookie-cutter clone of some middle-gray cardboard portrait of normalcy. But how do we determine what is psychologically normal? What is mental illness? Most angles on this issue are quite subjective, involving obvious or subtle value judgments. We can distinguish between statistical normal and healthy normal, but common behavior (e.g., Nazi compliance) is not necessarily healthy, and the context of your unhealthy or atypical behavior (e.g., a history of trauma) is also relevant. Your degree of control over your mind and emotions, your ability to adapt to various situations, and your internal and external connectedness are also relevant. Ultimately, mental health is just as much a social value judgment as a psychological fact, and compassion serves us well when we are judging our self or others.

Psychology, Self-Help, Awareness, PrejudiceEd ChandlerAugust 9, 2019Comment

Managing Sadness and Depression - Blog#20 - 7 July 2019

Clinical depression goes well beyond sadness and related feelings. It is best viewed as a syndrome with cognitive, behavioral, and physical, as well as emotional symptoms. To reduce depression, we often need to grieve, and replace or accept significant losses that led to our depression. But we also need to address behaviors and thought patterns that contribute to or maintain depression. Specifically, we need to counteract depressive withdrawal, and change negative thoughts about our self, the world (and people), and our future. And sometimes we need to muster the courage to address childhood issues that continue to dog us well into our adult years. If you get stuck in the blues, or experience more pronounced clinical depression, join us for this foray into perspectives on the alleviation of depression.

Depression, Sadness, Self-Help, External Connectedness, Avoidance, Acceptance, Consciousness, Managing FeelingsEd ChandlerJuly 7, 2019Comment

Psychomechanics Has Arrived! - Blog#19 - 16 June 2019

For all subscribers to my blog, and all current clients at Turning Point, an e-copy of my newly published self-help book, Psychomechanics – Tools for Self-Regulation of Emotions, will be available FREE for 3 days: June 21-23. Thereafter, the e-book will be available for $5.99. The printed copy, due to printing costs, cannot be offered free, but is available for $12.99 through Amazon. Thanks to all of you for your encouragement down through the years, and thanks to my current and past clients, who have taught me as much as I’ve taught them.

Psychology, Self-Help, Managing Feelings, ConsciousnessEd ChandlerJune 16, 2019Comment

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