The Wisdom of Vulnerability - Blog#23 - 23 August 2019

It is natural to try to eliminate emotional pain from the mind in order to feel happy and pain free. None of us enjoy feeling sad, guilty, ashamed, anxious, fearful, etc. Who wants to feel vulnerable? If the mind were simply a bottomless pit, we could discard negative feelings like garbage, dropping them far enough below consciousness that their stinking fumes never touched us again. Unfortunately, the mind is not a bottomless pit, feelings do not disappear forever, and the problems that generate such feelings are not resolved by suppressing them from consciousness. More permanent pain relief requires an understanding of the problem that creates the pain, and a strategy for resolving that problem, both of which require us to approach, experience and explore our painful feelings. Temporary pain must often be tolerated in order to reduce and prevent more lasting pain. Likewise, there is wisdom to be found in vulnerability within relationships as well. One cannot be emotionally intimate without being vulnerable. Allowing oneself to love requires allowing oneself to risk being hurt. We all want safe love, but we must risk safety in order to obtain love, or risk lack of love and loneliness if we demand too much safety. How do we find the balance?

Psychology, Self-Help, Vulnerability, Love, Avoidance, Managing FeelingsEd ChandlerAugust 22, 2019Comment

Birth, Death, Sex, Awe, and Mars - Blog#18 - 7 June 2019

Birth and life are amazing, and reproduction all the more so. There is incredible variation in the ways that living species recreate themselves, and thereby produce the gift of life. Our daily dose of spiritual awe is bolstered when we take time to notice the diversity of life, and appreciate the intricate wonders of its recreation. Whether sexual or asexual, single-gendered or hermaphroditic, there are a host of ingenious strategies out there that renew life, propelling it forward, generation after generation. We hear about them in school, but appreciate them more with age.

Inner Parenting - Blog#16 - 10 May 2019

Self-nurturing is easier if we have a history of being nurtured by our own parents. If not, we are more challenged. Religious folks can use the power of prayer to access and bathe in God’s love. Others require more evidence for their beliefs. In the absence of faith in the love of an invisible God, a secular approach to self-soothing is required. If we have a history of abuse, rejection, or other experiences that have led us to internalize negativity, resulting in rejection of our self, self-nurturance is a bigger challenge. The inner-child approach is one route through this dark forest. By tapping our capacity to nurture those we love, particularly our own children, we can access our nurturance skills and apply them to our self, developing self-compassion.

Awareness, Awe, Belief, Love, Relationships, Spiritual Atheism, DefensesEd ChandlerMay 10, 2019 Comment

Finally!! A Cure For Insomnia! - Blog#ZZ - 21 March 2019

Missing a few Z’s? Tired of being tired? Done relying on medication? Finally, a behavioral solution to sleep loss…

Acceptance, LoveEd ChandlerMarch 20, 2019Comment

All You Need Is Love - Blog#6 - 14 February 2019

We all want love, and it is one of a handful of spiritual emotions (along with awe, existential joy and dread, gratitude, and humility). Spirituality celebrates both consciousness and connectedness. Love involves connecting via shared consciousness. Thus, love, at its best, can be a very spiritual experience. But what is it, and how do we find safe love?

Awe, Love, Relationships, Infatuation, Mature Love, External ConnectednessEd ChandlerFebruary 13, 2019Comment

Ed Chandler and Beyond